@diceyeiffel These should be both posts - there is some symbol weirdness but all the text is there!
[center]Jan 18
Word Count: 310
Cat in focus: Actias!
[rule]
The tunnels. They obstructed the sky, the sea. The only thing for miles was stone and wood.
And Actias felt trapped.
Their gray fur fell to the stone floor. The intricate carvings made them feel helpless. The walls of brown wood, a symbol of perseverance for others- made Actias feel nauseous. There was no one to help them. The other cats smiled and played, had amazing memories to make- and what did Actias do? Actias worked. They worked, and kept working. Maintenance? No, Actias could do it. A dispute? Actias would resolve it, with their gentle nature. A collapsed tunnel? Actias would fix it. Alone.
So alone. So, so alone.
Actias stared at the stone walls. The gray. It was the same color as their fur. Were they both instruments of holding up a higher power?
Actias’s face twisted into an angry snarl. What had they done to deserve this? WHAT HAD THEY DONE?!
Their claws slashed across the wall. They heaved. And heaved. And realized what they had done.
“Oh, no. More work for me.†They sighed.
Actias preferred not to feel anger. They thought it was a meaningless emotion. That it served no purpose other than to increase tension.
The wood, which was once a serene wall of perfect dark brown, now had gaping scars. It almost looked like the wood was frozen in a scream. How pathetic.
Actias wanted to cry. Scream. Shout. Something. Anything. And yet, they never could. It would disturb the others if they screamed. And all those other cats would know. They would know that Actias wasn’t gentle. They weren’t gentle at all. They were a horribly anxious wreck.
They wondered why.
Why had they trapped themself into leadership? To prove a point? To make the other cats smile and laugh?
Actias felt as though everyone deserved to smile.
So why didn’t they?
[rule]
thanks for the notes! :D this was fun to write! [/center]
[center]Jan. 19th
Nestor Gift - [url=https://www.pixelcatsend.com/cat&id=92862]paniceum[/url] [not-cat, adult]
Word Goal - 400+
Cat in Focus - [url=https://www.pixelcatsend.com/cat&id=90228]actias[/url]
Final Word Count - 480
–
It seems that once again Actias could not catch themselves a break.
Idolo, ever caring Idolo, had offered to go in the youngers place, but Actias had to go and insist.
Paniceum seemed nice enough, seemed willing enough to go with the customs, seemed awed enough with their(actias’.) hard work, seemed respectful enough of the village they ran(the village [i]I RUN[/i], Actias wanted to scream, but they held their tongue). Yes, Pani would fit in nicely.
A fisher.
A fisher, Actias recalls Pani calling itself, so just its luck to end up in this sweet community(in [i]MY[/i] sweet community, Actias wanted to sob, but they held their tongue.). Just its luck that they were in need of a fisher (they weren’t, but when Actias gasped and tapped their paws like that, it wasn’t like anyone was to point it out- they seemed so excited[seemed. Seemed. Forced some toothy show of grins that barely qualified for joy, made the corners of their mouth upturn. Another mouth to feed, though finally a mouth that earned it’s keep]), just its luck that there were openings. (That wasn’t a lie. There were. Meant for Actias to sleep elsewhere, to catch a breather at night at least, but it was fine. [it was not fine, Actias wanted to howl when Idolo mentioned the open bed, it was [i]not[/i] fine, that bed was for [i]them[/i] and hadn’t they earned that? A nap? Peace? Had they not done enough to [i]finally[/i] be put first? But Actias held their tongue.])
And there Actias found themself, leading Paniceum through the myriad of tunnels that made up Bellmoral, all the secret entries and exits, the best places to catch small pieces of sun and warmth(and before they knew it, the info was public, and there was simply nowhere else to hide. Their own fault for trusting a new not-cat, their own fault for thinking they could have something to themselves[it was upsetting. And it hurt. It hurt, so bad, that not [i]once[/i], not [i][b]ONCE[/b][/i] since Pani had opened its mouth, not once something went right. And Actias knew they would have to fix it, and they wanted to cry, to sob, to heave, but Actias held their tongue]).
And there Actias found themself, explaining once again the way Nestor had been so kind to allow them to thrive(though it never felt it, for if that damned moose was so merciful, then why could they simply not rest? Why could they not bring themselves to pass Bellmoral into steadier paws, that of, perhaps, an adult?), the way to reach home from Gardenhome City, the ways to get lost, the ways to be found.
And they want to scream, sob, heave, “Why did no-one do this for me? Why did I do this to myself? Why am I the backbone?â€
But Actias holds their tongue.
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